Leaving the Past Behind, Moving On, and Letting Go...

The Lemon

Well, it's not very easy to leave the past behind. I don't know if it's just me, but I find it SO hard to say goodbye. After graduating, it's weird realizing that I really will not see a good majority of those people ever again. All those tears I shed senior year were really for a reason! Ha ha. I think one of the hardest things is that I was really close to a lot of my senior class. There are 4 of us that still hang out, but, there are some that I really miss. I had one best friend that never ever changed throughout all of high school, then something happened with in the last TWO MONTHS of school left and now we don't talk. It's been so hard because we were so close and just one little thing messed everything up and now I live with the fear that I may never see that person or their family ever again. It's so weird that you grow up going to school with the same people every year, and can be so close to everyone around you then next you know, you're all going to College, but not the same college, and where nobody really knows who you are. I'm going to BYU-Idaho with two of my closest friends, but every time that I think about it, I get sad knowing I'm leaving everything behind. I won't be home, and I won't be with the people I know and love best. Sometimes we can mess up to cause these things to happen but it's weird when you realize it's all just part of life. With the huge roller coaster that I was on the past seven months, the one lemon I've constantly had sitting on my open wound is learning to just leave the past behind, move on, and sadly... let it go.

The Lemonade

There are days where I can be doing SO well, but then the slightest change of wind can squeeze that lemon and the juice just seeps into the wound almost like it's thirsty for it. But it doesn't just squeeze once, it squeezes for a while and it STINGS. (Whoops sorry, maybe a little to graphic? My apologies.)

Anyway, even though we can have hard times with these things, there is SO much more to look forward. When ever there is a goodbye, there is ALWAYS a hello to look forward to. Just like the Beatles song, "You say goodbye, and I say hello!". We may be leaving, and loosing relationships that we had in the past, but if we just sit and miss what was once there, we'll never be able to see all the things we learned from the people we once knew. Every single person in our life brings at least 5 words of wisdom. So even though leaving the past behind, moving on and letting go may be a lemon, and I know I will still not be doing it any time soon... ha, there is SO much more to learn and to look forward to... and THAT'S a sip of Livi's Lemonade!

P.s. Here is a little something I came across:

"Have you ever wondered why you always end up getting hurt? Have you ever wondered what you have done to deserve the constant lack of respect for you and your feelings? Have you ever wondered why your kind and caring approach to people isn’t always reciprocated?

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

The problem is we hold onto who that person was or who we want them to be. We make excuses for their behavior. It takes two people to have a friendship or be in a relationship and one person cannot carry that weight. It’s simply impossible. In doing so, it is inevitable that we experience the hurt, disrespect and lack of reciprocity. Is it really worth it? Life is too short to try to change someone that you know doesn’t want to change. What you can change is them being in your life. Of course, this is much easier said than done. Letting go is one of the hardest things we face in life. However, time is one of the most unforgiving things. Once it’s gone, you can never get it back. So ask yourself, are you investing your time in the actual person or who they used to be or who they have the potential to be?"

Always remember, you are wonderful and amazing! Anyone should be happy to share a friendship or relationship with you and if they choose not to, then that is their loss. You deserve nothing less than the best. :D